Dadgum it, I missed all the national-mandating against democrats because I spent yesterday ripping, hammering, sawing, and cussing as I rebuilt the south gable of the tool-shed. Yep, I still have a tool shed which it is really a golf shed, but no children would be afraid of being taken out to the golf shed by their daddies. In a bit of personal irony, while I was pretending to be Bob the Builder, the democrats were being taken to the woodshed and with Boner Boehner on his way to be leader of the House, the Piss-Willie Party also got taken to the golf shed, too. For me, this election may be one of the most confusing I have ever witnessed. The country is in absolute dilapidation and dereliction caused by ten years of republican control of the country and its lack of control of Big Business; the mood of the people who make less than 150 K a year is desperate; yet, the nation for the most part wants the pirate-party back in office. Hell, yesterday, on the way to get more screws, I heard another woman from Maryland bragging that she had voted a straight republican ticket, that she wanted to send a wake-up message to Washington. The stupid bitch ought to send a wake-up message to herself, but she probably owns a business and is praying that some republican or another will eliminate corporate taxes as an excuse to stimulate the economy. Or the idiot republican woman who claimed only moments ago that this election was a firm vote against the establishment; holy crapping cows, the republicans are the establishment, you fquwacking retard. How completely stupid can two women be? Go figure it out on the back of your unemployment check. Yet,despite all this retardation, there may be several golden moments to come for me.
First, I will be much better off without cable television; I am taking in my boxes and canceling my Comcast agreement today. That’s the only way I figure to survive a stroke which I will have now that I will have to see without respite the likes of Michael Steele, one of the world’s dumbest politicians (but slick enough to escape all the egregious gaffes and blame for all the foolishly lavish expenditures for party conferences) who doesn’t have plastic hair and that reprehensible tribute to tanning-parlor-tax ever, John, the Boner, Boehner. I really can’t stand one more republican jowl swinging back and forth on my Taiwanese TV. (I will miss Sarah Palin whom I watched in the mute because she is a good-lookin-gal and has a trophy rack.) Besides, Comcast doesn’t need my money at all anymore now that it spent 5 billion to buy NBC. That purchase is a republican statement if there ever was one: 5 billion in the worst of economic times and not bad for a semi-regulated company. The scary part of giving up my addiction to cable-news is that I am bound to eat even more Good and Plenty, Whoppers, and licorice thus putting on 20 more pounds; at least, that’s what happened when I gave up my addiction to Irish whiskey and any beer that came in can, bottle, or box. Damn, choosing between stroke and obesity is rough.
Second, I am going to absolutely love observing how the tea-party-candidates become real republican at the speed of a quinquagenarian heading for the toilet after double cups of prune coffee. Of course, anyone who thinks the likes of Rubio or Paul or any other tea-party claim to victory will be much more than regular spend- but-don’t- tax-support-Wall-Street-republicans is generally disconnected from the real world just like the woman voting the straight ticket. I will also love watching republicans reduce government but create jobs, curb spending but promote war, and chop taxes but lower the deficit. Naturally, they never once addressed how they were going to do all this before the election. Give me a call on my Mexican cell phone when all this republican fixing happens. Oh yeah, it will be real cool watching the Pauls bring home the troops to no jobs.
I am not going to rant anymore,today; I have two more pieces to do at the eave of the gable and a couple of coats of paint to do before the rain tomorrow. I just don’t know about ranting anymore, at all, anyway; I can’t really get at just how fquawacking stupid all this political stuff is. As I type, some moron of a republican is crowing about this election being a refutation of Obama’s policies of big government, this from a guy who watched and agreed while Reagan and both Bushes grew the size of government, and Dumbya Bush left office with a huge deficit, an economy collapsing, and the highest unemployment in decades. Ooops, I had that right: it was a moron, Guvnah Haley Barbour of the Great State of Mississipah that sagged jawed, plastic haired, corn-pone stuffed, bourbon drinking, swamp stomping, grit chomping, pork ridden . . . .