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Thursday, October 21, 2010

A Moment with the Fuzz

I was just on the back porch, puffing on a Cubano Cheapaquisto when Fuzz, wanting out, scratched at the door. She had only two days before been to Tina, her best buddy, for grooming, and I figured that she wanted to hit the back yard to profile a little. Once again I was wrong; she wanted to chat. We commune often, rarely anymore about politics as she is pretty much fed up with the entire reality show feel of it. She’s more inclined lately to complain about not getting enough chicken, pizza-crust, or about my having Jimmy-legs of a night. Yet, this morning, after convincing me that the cigar smelled not of coffee but of old burning sock, she took-off on the politics.

Jayzus, I had to get out of the living room; you left the TV on Morning Joe and that entire crowd was making me just want to puke, and you haven’t cleaned up from the last time when John Shadegg made me barf up my morning Bonz. Do all republicans have to report to the DC-republican-stylist for their slick, silver, dye-job? Well, I guess Boner Boehner gets to do the tanning parlor as one of his perks.

Does Boone Pickens really think anyone is going to switch from foreign oil because of national security? Damn that makes too much sense when he goes on about federal vehicles being “green” and how by converting 18 wheelers to natural gas, we can get off foreign oil. Of course, he doesn’t disclose that his wife owns millions of shares of Clean Energy, a company positioned to supply fleets with natural gas. Plus the damned republicans don’t know what to do with him when he uses the word green in a sentence when it does not refer to Wall Street money. What a clown; after banking the Swift Boat attacks on Kerry, the old fool shows up in cycles expecting folks to be reasonable. I suggest he lick my ass.

And for gawds’ sakes, will someone just euthanize Pat Buchannan, already? Really, suggesting that Nigeria is a nice place from which to buy oil, dammed fool. His boner for Palin must have given him a frontal lobotomy. Besides, what the hell did he ever really do to get where he is? Write crap and lies for Richard Nixon, the worst President in the World, and foist himself off as some sort of conservative while supporting for years the republican spending machine. What a goober; let’s capture him, lock him in the larger wire-kennel, feed him okra and grits to see if that brings the old fool around. Too bad there are not death squads; he is my nominee for the first. And, speaking of this old hard-on, he is IN love with Christine O’Donnell, LMAO, roll over, and play dead. It just doesn’t get any better for a dumb dog. I would vote for her as dog catcher if you get my thinking.

And the clips of Obama out stumping for his party, pulllease! What a natural born coward he is. Oh sure, he is a heckofasight better than John McCain (and oh horrors can you just imagine Sarah Palin in the White House right now solving problems of debt, war, education?)But really despite being hamstrung by his own fool-party and a bunch of do-nothing-republicans, there’s a bunch he could have done from the bully pulpit, or in his case, the bull shit pulpit. First, he could have frozen the assets of all the investment banks we bailed out until we were positive that they had changed their stripes which of course they didn’t and won’t until someone has the temerity to stop their rape of the US by holding them to regulations already in place and by placing a special “we-saved-your-asses” tax on the whole bunch. And he could have lived up to his promise to the homos and written an executive order pulling DADT right on out as a military policy. Either you humans have civil rights or you don’t, right? And now his justice department is challenging that nice judge’s order to stop it. All because there is an election, right? What a piss-Willie he is turning out to be. He sure could have cheered you all up by mandating across the board federal salary cuts, cuts in congressional salaries, and a dumping of all the wasteful perks up there on the Hill as you guys call I, more like a dung heap if you ask me. All this stuff would end up in the courts but so what? It would make you feel better right? And he could go a long way by stirring up an impeachment process for the fools on the Supreme Court who allowed that a corporation is entitled to the Constitutional rights of an individual. Gawd, even a dog knows that is dumb and now what have you boys and girls got? Political action committees dumping all sorts of money into negative campaign ads, promoting fear, hate, and misinformation, yet you can’t even find out who is contributing, what they have to gain, where they are from, nothing. And I could have just take a dump on that Karl Rove’s head when, after he was asked how much foreign money is coming into those unregulated PACS, that child-molesting-pervert, on FUX news, holds up, a la G. Beck, a sheet of paper with “Nada” scribbled on it. First, I can’t find myself believing one word he says and second, isn’t he one of those republicans or whatevers who want only English used in this country? Naturally, his viewers probably think nada is Merican, short for “not a damn answer.”

And you, you bozo, I could care less if you rot your tongue off smoking those damned cigars, but if you ever leave me trapped in there with the infernal TV stuck on Morning Joe,- more like Moron Joe, if you get my drift- I swear I will get even and you know how. Right? Leave me in there alone but only if re-runs of Lassie or Rin Tin Tin is showing. They are some dogs I can tolerate.

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