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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Who Is jerking Whom Off?

DAMN! Let me get this as straight as I can: a woman who is constantly in trouble with the Federal Election Commission, who got sued for non-payment by her college, who lied or stretched the truth about her vote outcome in elections, who has a 12 thousand dollar tax lien imposed by the IRS, who is wrought up constantly about gay folks, and who equates masturbation to lust just got elected in a primary as Delaware’s republican candidate for a senate seat? Did that really happen or has someone sneaked some real good weed into my real cheap cigars? Look, we are in serious trouble with about 15 percent real unemployment, schools are broke, states are broke, I am broke, you are broke, but a candidate who has more to say about jerking-off and gay boys and girls than about jobs and the future of Delaware and the country just got put up by republicans to represent them in a national seat? This O’Donnell broad got some support from Sarah Palin, another broad, from the NRA, (I guess the nominee carries a Uzi or wants to send kids to school with one), and from the Tea Party Express which I have to assume is smoking tea not drinking it. Come on now ain’t the Tea party the ones frothing about Charlie Rangel not paying his taxes and the republicans the ones yipping about Geithner not filing his taxes. Or did I miss something? Please tell me I am missing something. Please.

See, I have forever been a reasonable sort of guy, well fairly reasonable, until folks who should know better try to trot some hypocritical horse manure by me. This has plagued me all my life: my inability not to get nakedly- absolutely-squirrel-factory pissed-off with hypocrites, especially hypocrites who feigned intelligence but were really playing with the same deck of trivia cards with which I play. Understanding republicans and Tea Partiers is much like figuring out Daffy Duck or Gearloose Gander, if you get my drift. Gosh, I do try soooo hard to open my mind to stuff like this O’Donnell stuff, but I just can’t. I never know what republicans want except toupees, golf junkets, and no taxes. I have no clue about TPERS- I think they want to get rid of Hitler, carry guns to dinner, follow the Constitution, pay no taxes, and dress up like Revolutionary War re-enacters, or something. Oh yeah, and they sure ain’t got much Christian love for them queers. Most of what I get out of O’Donnell, in more or less her own words, is that she don’t want her bo’friend whacking his wiener because that sort of leaves her out of the love picture, and all.

Why don’t these guys remain constant to a complaint- if Chuck Rangel is a bum for not ponying up his tax dollars how can they vote for a woman who didn’t pay 12 grand in taxes in 2005? If they didn’t like Al Gore for claiming he invented the internet (damn that was stupid wasn’t it?) how can they get in line to vote in a woman who claims she attended Princeton but didn’t or got votes in counties that she didn’t? And whose business is it anyway what you and I do in our own home? Come on ain’t fair, fair? Well, it is a political maxim- invented by the Bushes or maybe by those birds who started all that stuff about Ronnie Reagan being the coolest, smartest, most fiscally sound president, ever- that if you lie often enough, convincingly enough, enough people will believe to spread the word enough to make a truth (that’s a axiom, maybe). If Christine O’Donnell had some solutions about how to get more jobs out there, to find away to get folks back the savings they lost to Wall Street’s gambling, to recover tax dollars wasted in one war we didn’t belong in and in another we were late getting too, to harness in the greed of the insurance, medical, and political mobs, I would be the first in line to vote for her in November. But that ain’t going to happen; she is NOT going to have ONE original or solid idea. But she will scare the quadruple-bejayzuses out of me. When she makes to the senate, look out for a jerk-off tax or for a vibrator ban. And with all the stress going around these days, those would not be good things for ‘Merica.

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