The Cold Hard Truth

OK. I ducked the oil leak-gush-spew-deal yesterday and have held myself in check because I wanted to try to give my pea-brain some time to sort through all the garbage dumped out by politicians and the press. Plus, I wanted to reflect on what my personal stance was and is on the oil business. I think I am consistently on record as having two positions on oil drilling and exploration: first, I think we need some areas in our country that are just off limits to commerce, places that are unspoiled for the use of folks who enjoy seeing what the country looks like without oil derricks or mine shafts shoved in at every angle. So stay the fuck out of ANWR; second, I have been pretty consistent in saying, preaching, yelling that OK we need oil for now so drill IF we have the technology to avoid environmental disasters, AND we ought not trust an Big Oil when it says, “Oh, don’t worry; we have it covered.” How do you really spell horseshit? I am on record as being a worrier and a skeptic.

For those morons who claim that the Big Oil will govern itself, and it is not to its benefit to have disasters: when the hell are you going to wake up (or quit lying)? The environmental nastiness created by the Valdez wreck went something like this in my eye: huge ship full of oil, driven by fucked up captain runs aground, creating massive spill. That’s gross negligence. Alaska’s civil court awards 500 billion to those Small BUSINESSES harmed by Exxon’s negligence. Alaska’s Supreme Court,on appeal by Exxon, lowers damages to 250 billion. Then the Bushes (that’s the Big Oil family in case you missed it) go to work and get as many conservative, pro-BIG-business justices that they can on the Supreme Bench. Said Bench, 20 years later lowers damages to 50 billion based on an archaic, maritime, salvage law, and our nation ignores that decision because it is good for Big Oil and jobs and all that other Republican horseshit that holds some minds hostage. Now we got the BP mess. And listen up, in case you are not connecting: do you really think BP somehow missed the Supreme Court’s decision on the Valdez incident?

OK. Move onto the recent poll that claims 70 percent of us do not think President Obama is tough enough on BP. Wow, it is sorry to live where 70 percent of the population is so frigging stupid. First, how long have we had as a nation to develop, internally, technologies that could be applied in such disasters (subs with giant pliers, huge boats with giant Hoovers, 400 yard rolls of Bounty, giant cut-off-valves)? Second, how many years have regulations been in place that we have let political appointees that run our agencies ignore? How many years have we let Big Oil and their puppets in Congress write legislations and regulations slanted in favor of the oil business? How many years have we allowed politicians and Big Oil identify oil supply as a national security issue and go right along with it, nation of lobotomized sheep, without demanding conservation, innovation, and alternatives? And now, you stupid sons a bitches, you want to blame it on Obama? Just what would you have him do: nuke the well (morons), smack the CEO on national TV (OK you wrestlemaniacs out there I know you would like that because you don’t have enough sense to grow mold), freeze the assets of BPUS (how damn long will that be in courts and how much will it costs the government which you want reduced, imbeciles), jump up and down and cuss and carry on like me (hardly Presidential as far as I am concerned)? And what about all you dullards out there, including Piyissinupants Jindal, who want government out of your lives, how can you say out of one side of you face say you want less government, then out of the other side of you slack-jawed, drooling faces say that the President isn’t doing enough as far as you are concerned? Did you somehow miss 9th grade civics, the part where the President is PART of the government? (What are the chances that the poll included only those who grew up under another republican fiasco, No Child Left Behind and who missed out on civics because it was moved out of curricula so that kids could learn how to draw pictures of the differences between French settlements and English ones.)Believe me, I am not in any mood to defend Obama but come on; take some ginkgo, eat more fish (if you can find any with oil or mercury in it), stay up longer studying for your urine tests, but get some sense somewhere (maybe Sam’s Club?). When you blame any President for this, you simply revel only how relentlessly obtuse you are.

Here’s a challenge for any one of you goofasses who think the President is not doing enough: tell me exactly what he should do, BUT whatever you pick, it cannot: affect BP’s stock or dividends (remember you are the ones who are constantly yelling,”It’s Merica and we honor our contracts.”; defy the good sense of physics (you know you can’t tell me that he ought to get on his Green Hornet outfit and swim down and plug it with a big was of Red Man.); finally it cannot involve a governmental solution BECAUSE you want less government. I will wait for about a week. Actually, I will wait until the ice caps melt in the hopes that you dopes drown, and I still won’t have a sensible reason why this could possibly be one President’s fault.

Gawd, you are so damn brainless that I am going to the bank and cut a check to the school districts where I taught just in case I taught anyone who was in the seventy percent of that poll. Way back when, I used to tell my students that the Chinese and Russians didn’t need to worry about weapons because we were going to dumb ourselves off the earth. I was right then and am now.



{Thanks, Jamie O’Hara, I think, for the title and to George Jones for singing the song}