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Monday, April 27, 2009

Let Me Fix the Constitution

April 27, 2009
Here is a list of amendments to the Constitution of the United States that I would enforce immediately (I won’t bother with all the numbering because there is a mess of stuff that could go into to one whammy-doozle of an amendment, and I’ll just leave it to the bright guys in Washington to get all that worked out and all):
• All Muslims who are not citizens are returned to sender.
• Muslims who are citizens will go to Muslim Internment Camps (MICs) until further notice. All Muslim property will be seized by the government and sold to highest bidders. (Jews will be excluded from bidding.)
• Any person in the U.S. with a green card has got to give it back and get out. If said person has offspring born in the United States, the offspring shall join the citizen- Muslims in MICs in South Dakota.
• Any person who shows up ill or injured at a hospital or medical treatment center of any kind and who does not have health insurance will NOT be treated, for anything, anyhow, anyway.
• Any person who can’t pass a test of minimum competence in American language may not possess a license to do anything in the United States. If you can’t read American, you may not have license to do diddly.
• Children seeking welfare or WIC shall be denied any service unless the father is identified. Once the father is identified the children may not get WIC or any other federal aid because mom and dad can pay for their needs. If mom and pops can’t come up with the money, the kids will just have to be a little hungry, a little cold, and a little sick
• It shall be illegal for any school that receives federal funds to offer any service to students other than education. No more breakfasts, lunches, after school programs, day care centers, wellness centers, or counseling services.
• It shall be illegal for school buses to stop at a frequency of less than two miles while on their routes to pick up children for school. Kids are obese and should be able to walk a mile to get free transportation to school. Children within two miles of their school may not get on a school bus unless they pay a fare.
• Faith based initiatives are hereby deemed unconstitutional, and churches shall be taxed as other for profit institutions. Religious institutions that complain about the tax status shall be double taxed.
• The tax rate on all making less than 250 thousand dollars a year shall be doubled. No one may file any return other than individual and deductions for children are hereby canceled.
• All households in the U.S. shall be required to have one AK 47, 2, 14 round Glock 9mm automatic pistols, an ample supply of ammunition for the weapons. All households are encouraged to start militias as soon as possible in case the government is in need of taking over and stuff.
• North Dakota shall be purchased by the U. S. and converted into the National Institution for Crooks (NIC). Any person breaking a federal law shall be dropped into NIC via helicopter. A survival kit of seeds, Swiss Army knife, rations for one month, two goats, and four pounds of saltines will be provided to assist said crook at getting a start in his/her new country.
• All bills brought to vote by legislators in the federal system must be read and approved by any member of team of readers who read at seventh grade level or below. Any sponsor of a bill which does not garner approval by a reader shall be sent to NIC, without the goats.
• Political correctness will be outlawed and deemed unconstitutional. People will be free to speak, write, film, blog, and video any damn thing they want without fear of repercussion. Anyone protesting this amendment shall be removed immediately to NIC.
• Anybody can marry whomever he/she wants and as many as he/she wants; however, it shall be illegal to advocate any particular life/marriage style at any institution that receives federal monies or protection. Do whatever you want to do with your genitals, but LEAVE kids alone, and quit making a big deal about it or off to NIC you will go.
• It shall henceforth, in perpetuity, be illegal for the United States to interfere with another country’s business; all forts, posts, embassies, missile sites, aircraft carriers, warships, men, women and supplies are hereby ordered closed and returned home.
• Forever and always, any goods bought in the United States that are made in China shall have a national sales tax of 15 percent added. Such funds shall be used to pay our debt to China in the quickest manner possible. Failure to pay, charge, or collect said tax shall result in immediate removal to NIC.
• If a company finds coal anywhere in the United States, it shall have the right to mine it without regard to the environment. All regulations governing the removal of coal and the handling of wastes are deemed null and void. Mountain tops leveled and streams polluted will NOT have to be reconditioned. This amendment shall be extended to the gas and oil businesses who may drill anywhere that a drop of oil maybe found regardless of impact on bears, birds, or bees. It shall be considered a high crime and treason if energy companies do NOT exploit the riches of the earth.

This is merely a start for making out country once again the power that it was. Stay tuned.

1 comment:

Earthpeace43 said...

I'm with you! See you in NIC!

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