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Monday, March 16, 2009

Conservatives and chimpanzes

March 16, 2009
WTF? (What tomfoolery)
The photo of the skull here is borrowed from AP and is of “16th-century remains of a woman with a brick stuck between her jaws — evidence, experts say, that she was believed to be a vampire.” While I could not dig up any rationale for exhuming some poor old gal and ramming adobe in her mouth, the photo does inspire the first and second “Brick in the Mouth Award” (BITMA) which I cheerfully present to former V.P. Dick Cheney who “called his former chief of staff I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby "an innocent man" who deserved a pardon from Bush. Cheney also remarked, “We left Scooter hanging in the wind.” Bush commuted Libby’s sentence for perjury and obstructing justice, saving him from serving prison time.
Cheney’s recent decision to “come to life” to promote more ill-will, divisiveness, and political gout is, in my memory, unprecedented in former V.P.s. No other former vice president has played such a negative role after his term expired. As a matter of fact, Cheney is more available now to the public than he was when he was working for us. What a CREEP.
And since I am absolutely mirthful about finding this photo of woman with brick, I am going to present the BITMA to Ed Donath for the following comment in his “Conservative Blog” on about President Obama’s frequent talks to the nation:
Well yes, Mr. O, but that's because of how you have it set up. Instead of taking the advice of predecessors -- asking not what the country can do for you, keeping a low profile while carrying a big stick and proving by your actions (not your words) that the buck stops at your desk -- you have chosen you have chosen to be the "object" of just about everything as a result of making those daily speeches.

The conservative Mr. Donath mixes metaphors, avoids historical parallelism in his construction, and makes absolutely no sense, none, nada, and deserves a Brick in the Mouth.

Beyond the silly blogging of Donath and vile mutterings by Cheney, it was a fabulous week in that researchers proved that fat women had fat in their ovaries; who would have guessed? Additionally, anthropologists in Stockholm concluded that a “canny chimpanzee calmly collected a stash of rocks and then hurled them at zoo visitors in fits of rage, confirming that apes can plan ahead just like humans.” So, maybe we all should start saving up rocks to chunk at the politicians and bankers who are making our world so unpalatable and scary. Then we would be right up there on the evolutionary chain with that chimpanzee.
An ostentatious doffing of my cap to AIG for having the absolute balls to stick it in the face of the American taxpayer once again. I see chimps in their future.
Finally, what do you call a lawyer gone bad? A Congressman. Ok, Congressperson, ick.

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